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The Jewish Outlook Regarding Married Life
As long as the candle is lit you can still fix.
Why should I get married? Why do I need the headache?
Lifeline for married couples | part #1
Lifeline for married couples | part #2
Married life could be a big headache. It depends on what is in your head that you bring into married life.
We could compare this to someone who is trying to go from one place to another without GPS. Without good directions it could take a long time if at all.
Before you begin the journey you want to do two things that will save you a lot of sorrow on the way.
- Setting a goal.
- Planning the way.
Setting a goal
You are going to get married and this is not a simple decision. Marriage requires hard work and responsibility.
Sharing your life with another person who is different than you is one challenge. Earning a living is another responsibility. Finally, another aspect is children. It is true that children bring joy and like a grandmother once said “the main joy from the kids are the grandkids” meaning until you get the joy from the children, you have to go through a lot with them.
Therefore before getting married you have to know “why am I getting married?”
If it is for fulfilling your lust or some imagination of love — leave it, just stay single free and happy. If you are getting married to have children, you’re entering a place which requires a significant amount of obligation and responsibility.
One of the main pillars of marriage is “SHALOM BAYIT” (a peaceful home). This enables you to strengthen yourself, work on your MIDOS (character traits) and to respect and provide for others.
When this is your goal then you have a starting point.
A person working on his character traits has a purpose and a huge potential to achieve great things in life.
Upon examination, if you look at it in-depth, you discover that in marriage one could fulfill all of the above and reach self-fulfillment.
A married man enters a reality of being a better person by working on his Midos to be more sensitive, to consider the other and as a result to reach his own self-fulfillment.
After you reach this point of setting a goal you can move on to the next level.
Planning the way
Once there was a king who had a beautiful garden and in the garden was a maze made out of plants. The goal was to reach the middle of the maze. In the middle of the maze was a tower. Those who reached the tower were directing from above the people who had not yet reached the tower. The wise ones actually listened to those who already reached the tower and they reached it too. But the fools are still searching for the way…
This is parallel for many matters in life. Regarding our subject (a peaceful home), there are people happily married and they are observing the struggles of others attempting to reach this place of harmony Unity and true love.
They are trying to direct others onto the same path. The wise ones will listen to them, do what is required and enjoy every moment of it. The fools…
There are many “how to’s” when you contemplate marriage. Learn how to make married life successful, how to live with a woman, how to hear your wife. Be a wise man and listen to those who already reached the tower.
These two points are not only for couples before marriage, they are for any man who wants to be a man of truth and live a life of love happiness and harmony with his spouse.
“As long as the candle is lit you can still fix.”[/fusion_text]